sophisticated updates with both pinkies up

I can’t post recipes if there is no food in my house, and since I insist on not grocery shopping I suppose I will continue to not post recipes (or cook food). Unless you all want to know how to make a bowl of Special K? I can spice it up with some strawberries on top? No? That’s what I thought.

Like I said in my last post, I have been doing Weight Watchers and my food selection has been bland, tan, grey, tasteless and oogey. I eat veggies and fruit and make sandwiches out of flattened bread on most days. And then every once in a while I don’t just fall off the Weight Watcher wagon, I drive it over to the side of the road and set it on fire. On those days I only eat Peetes pumpkin bread, sushi and chocolate cake from Safeway. But this is a space of no judgement.

Lately I have been trying to fill my life with hobbies instead of food.This sounds like a healthy and grown up thing to do. I’m 24 now and am supposed to wake up sophisticated. At this time in my life I am supposed to be able to carry on conversations about the robustness of wine or “this great little independent cheese farm I know” as demonstrated by my peers. I don’t know anything about those things, although I do like cheese, especially of the burger variety. I do however have a lot to contribute to conversations about YouTube, scary movies, dirty jokes, burritos, boots (as they are my preferred source of footwear), bugs, and re-runs of Castle. None of those sound real sophisticated when I try to squeeze them into conversations about weddings, babies, politics and pensions so I thought maybe a nice (not weird) hobby would give me great dinner party ammo. You might think, isn’t writing a food/life blog sophisticated dinner party ammo enough? No, writing a blog about how unsophisticated you are is not sophisticated dinner party material. So I’ve reached deep inside myself and found my inner hipster. And me, my inner hipster and Barbecue Man have been restoring furniture. Part of me thinks that this may just be a shopping addiction with an artsy cover up, but for now I am gonna go with it.

We have been going to flea markets and garage sales and Good Wills trying to find broken down chairs and tables to fix up. It’s actually been really fun, I’ll start posting Barbecue Man and I’s new projects. Right now we are working on reupholstering a chair, it’s one of those old cane chairs with really bad puke green velvet fabric, we are putting something fresh and tiki on it. Barbecue Man is surprisingly very handy. Handsome and handy, I got lucky. My birthday just passed and he made me a wine rack out of a pallet. Its absolutely amazing. He knows how much a love anything Pinterest-y. I’ll put a picture below so you can drool over it with me. Now I just have to fill it with wine. I am more of a wine hoarder than a wine drinker. I like to get fancy bottles of wine from places I go so that in the future, at some nice dinner, I can open up that bottle and “remember that time”. But I don’t drink very much so I just end up with a lot of “memories”. Memories I will proudly display on my gorgeous wine rack!

He put our initials in it too… I’m just bragging at this point.

Look at that rack

Look at that rack

My recent fun find is a food find in some capacity. There is this “cooking show” on Vice. It’s a weekly segment called Fat Prince. In it Andy Milonakis (betcha haven’t heard that name for a while) cooks a bougie meal with a very classy chef out of ridiculous grocery store items and then feeds them to a strange selection of celebrities he hosts as “dinner guests” he then proceeds to make the chef and “dinner guest” read questions to one another that Andy Milonakis has written (presumable while intoxicated). It is uncomfortable and awkward and strange and crass and involves things like Ricearoni and Lunchables. I want to know why this hasn’t been a thing sooner. I got so much joy out of it, I thought you might too.

I’m glad we had this little chat.


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